David E. Everett
September 18, 2013
Untitled for Now
Much like Dante Alighieri, I found myself lost halfway along my life’s path. I was not in a dark wood near the base of a mountain. I was trapped and numbed by post-traumatic stress disorder. Nor, was I assailed by three beasts as Dante was. I was wracked by haunting flashbacks, but like the author I was unable to find my way. I could feel myself falling into a deep place where the sun is silent and without a guide as wise as the sage Virgil.
That was until the late summer of 2012, when I met my therapists Angelia. She was the first person who encouraged me to chronicle my deployments. I had had other therapists and none of them had ever suggested this before, we had spent our time together attempting to talk about my feels. Which I’m sure is beneficial for some people but at the time I emotional empty and this wasn’t much help for me.
She challenged me to write about my experiences during my deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan. This sounded like a terrible idea; I had spent the last 5 years attempting to hide from those memories. How could I possibly subject myself to that type of torture, how could this possibly help me? Now this woman wanted me to commit all of these nightmares to paper. I thought I had come here to learn how to deal with and move on from my past. Not be forced into dwelling in it.
Needless to say at first I was very reluctant to write about my deployments. I had no desire to dirge back through all the confusion, noise, and the sadness of it all. Wasn’t it bad enough that when I wasn’t thinking of my times overseas that something as minuet as a smell could send me back there? Sorry Angelia you might be a doctor but you don’t know what you’re talking about. So she changes the subject of the writing to something good that happened during one of the deployment.
Now this was easy, my platoon had a huge snowball fight when we first got into country and took...