Finding a Better Way to Grieve
“Joy shared is joy increased, and grief shared is grief diminished.” –Rich Struthers. As a 30-year-old woman, I have learned that letting go of a loved one at any age is definitely not an easy thing to do. My mother died of breast cancer just recently, and I have learned through friends and family how to deal with grief safely and effectively.
There are five main stages of grief: denial, hostility, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. A lot people start with denial, but not everyone does. Some people skip stages, have two at once, or experience them in different order. The following explanation is how I learned to deal with the passing of my mother.
First, I went through denial. I couldn’t believe that my God, whom I have been so faithful to, would take away my mother. Next, I got angry. I blamed God for not curing her cancer; I thought he was doing it to punish me. I skipped the bargaining stage. I felt as if I knew I wasn’t going to get her back, because that was impossible. But I still wished that I could spend a few more days with the one who brought me into this world. I started to loose focus of important things in my life, such as my husband, my job, my kids, and my faith. I was spiraling down into a deep depression. I never wanted to do anything or go anywhere, because everywhere I went and everything I did reminded me of her in some way. At her funeral, I wanted to avoid the situation and not talk about it. I never saw the friends I had, and I never shared my emotions with anyone. But soon enough, my husband and I talked through the grief. It felt good to let out all my feelings and just be real, sharing what I truly felt and how much I missed her.
If you are experiencing the loss of a loved one, there are ways to cope. The best way I’ve found to help diminish grief is to talk to people. Share the pain, laugh about the good times and keep those memories alive, because those are the good ones that...