After revising my essay several times, I found out that being redundant and repeating information made my essay weaker. This included a repetition of main ideas and convoluted sentences that were basically restating my main ideas. In order to fix this, I went through every sentence and looked at words that I was able to change. It was not only fixing words but fragments in order to make it coherent and seamless. In order to avoid repetition of my main ideas, I also went into depth with my analysis in order to have a stronger point. Going back and actually elaborating on my main ideas strengthened my essay in a sense that more insight was provided rather than summarization or a repetition of ideas. This, as a whole, allowed me to come up with more unique interpretation and go beyond of what was intended to be said. When my first draft was first submitted, it was mostly ideas presented and repeated which really took away from the meaning of my essay. I noticed that this pulls away from my thesis and at the same time can make my reader less attentive and get bored easily. A major part of fixing my essay was also making sure that the redundancies, which were mostly in the commentaries, were changed but still related back to my main topic which goes back to my thesis. When I changed some of my commentaries I was able to build something from the quote and elaborate on it rather than restate my topic sentence or simply summarize. This allowed my essay to have an argument and support it with my own interpretation without becoming redundant throughout my whole essay.