McBride Financial Services: Programming Languages E-mail
The organization of this memo is good. They use good use of white space clearly showing where the greeting, introduction, body, and conclusion are, with one space in-between each section. The entire memo was neat and lined up on the left side in traditional full block format with indentations only for the bullet points. The memo was kept to one page which is in good format. The second paragraph, the start of the body, is a rather large paragraph getting into nine lines and should have been separated into two paragraphs.
The clarity is a little fuzzy and does a lot of explaining about what lead up to the point of when the writer thought of the questions to ask. They do a lot of explaining of irrelevant things that may have very well been a good story of what brought the writer to the point of the memo, but is not needed for this type of writing. The extra explaining will tend to bore the reader and make them start skimming the memo. This extra explaining may also confuse the reader on the purpose of the memo. The writer clearly uses the second paragraph as the introduction as to why they are asking the questions, but does not serve as a valid corresponding summary.
The questions do get asked in the third paragraph which uses a nice bullet style theme. The bullets could have benefited more from a numbered bullet theme to show priority of each question, and also make it easier to reference which question is which by having a number next to it. Each bullet has multiple questions in it and should only have one per bullet point to make it clearer. There are also more explanations of what the writer thinks in the second bullet, along with the question. This just adds more confusion and the question should just be straight out asked.
The tone is appropriate and maintains friendly communication. The memo is from one person to another single party which can allow for a more relaxed and...