The search for a loving partner is one of our great life-tasks. Yet most dating advice is gratingly superficial, focusing endlessly upon the power of seduction and tight glutes. Here are three exercises which approach dating as an adventure of self-discovery. They are eye-opening and fun, and they will help you grow in self-respect while opening up new possibilities in your dating life.
At a time when I had become particularly sick of my failure-ridden dating life, I began to ask friends for tips and help. I was finally coming to the conclusion that I would always remain miserably unsuccessful in the finer skills of seduction. It was time to stop trying to be someone I wasn't. I had a close friend who was immensely skilled at bring humanity into his dating life, and I asked him to take me on "dating-clinic" trips. I also enlisted the help of a wise therapist, telling him I wanted homework in mindful dating. The tools I learned from them had a huge impact upon how I dated. Mindfulness, compassion, and kindness—who knew those things had anything to do with successful dating! I was happy to learn that in fact, they have everything to do with successful dating.
Three Myths That Keep Us From Finding Love
The Secret Story Behind Your Romantic Attractions
Seduction Strategies Don't Lead to Love—These Skills Do
Four Signs That Healthy Love Is On Its Way
How Our Insecurities Can Reveal Our Deepest Gifts
Find a Therapist
Search for a mental health professional near you.
For these exercises, I strongly encourage you to enlist the help of a friend. Best of all would be a learning partner—someone who is also single and who will join you on your mindfulness dating-jaunts, or at least discuss them with you by phone both before and after the trip. If you prefer to do this alone (and can’t be budged to reconsider!) then simply do some journaling before and...