A Personal Essay
It was my hope when I wrote the essay below back in 2012 (when I first made a web page), that those thinking of adopting a child might gain insight into how the process of adopting and raising an adoptee might be made better for their children. It was also my hope that birthparents and adopted adults searching would gain some hope and ideas from my personal experience.
As much as this site is about the rights of those personally involved in adoption and how they might gain peace of mind and/or closure from search, it might also be beneficial to look at a personal story.
People take the time and trouble to record family trees going back centuries. Archaeologists sift through tons of dirt to find out where we came from. We remark on the resemblence among family members. We thrill to see a bit of ourselves live on in our grandchildren. We boast about our ancestors. The belief that blood ties matter runs deep in us, and it is only right and natural that blood ties be acknowledged in adoption as well.
It's my contention that all adopted individuals are entitled to knowledge about their biological families that would place them on an even footing with non-adopted people. I am consciously avoiding the use of the words "child" and "children" because it is adopted adults who seek and need such information. The info to which I refer includes the circumstances that resulted in adoption, one's ethnic background, the people involved, one's health history, and potential weaknesses or talents that one may possess without knowing it. Biological children grow up knowing some unattractive realities about the people with whom they live most closely, but they deal with it. Adopted people should be afforded the same opportunity to wrestle with reality.
Adopted people comprise a higher than average percentage of individuals who are in jail or receiving help with mental difficulties. Having attended lectures on such matters, I can tell you most expert opinion...