Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
I heard you took an IQ test and they said you’re results were negative.
My parents told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!” so I turned on the subtitles.
Insert coin to view my status message.
Have you ever looked back at the past and realized you were such an idiot?
People make the world go around but at some point don’t you wish it were flat so all the idiots would keep walking and never come back?
Logic will get you from A to Z; imagination will get you everywhere.
You laugh at me because I am different, I laugh at you because you are all the same.
Do I turn left, when nothing is right? Or do I turn right, when there’s nothing left?
Adults are just kids with money.
Hard times call for awesome music.
One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
Birthdays are natures way of telling us to eat more cake.
Two guys are sitting on a bar stool.
One starts to insult the other one.
He screams, "I slept with your mother!"
The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to
see what the other weasel will do.
... The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR
The other says, "Go home dad you’re