Why Magic: The Gathering is better than sex
10. You don't have to cuddle after a game of Magic.
9. A game of Magic can last for hours.
8. You can Clone a Shivan Dragon but try that with your partner.
7. Protective card sleeves are easier to put on than condoms.
6. Good sex can cost you $1000, but a Black Lotus will only cost you $250.
5. You can Control Magic a Shivan Dragon, try THAT with your partner.
4. A game of magic ALWAYS ends simultaneously.
3. Your opponent won't ask you if you'll still respect them in the morning.
2. You can always find someone to play Magic with you.
1. An eight second game of Magic is good!
-With sex, you don’t get to sideboard if you make a mistake.
-Condoms cost around $5.00 for a pack of 20, while protective sleeves cost
- Magic requires no foreplay; you can just grab a partner and start playing.
- You can switch opponents as often as you like, and no one will mind.
- Brutally beating your partner is okay.
- Protection really works.
- Magic comes with a rulebook.
- Parents don't go crazy when they catch their children playing Magic with the neighbor's kid.
- You can play Magic while eating a sandwich.
- Any number of people can play in a game of Magic, and everyone gets a turn.
- If your deck just isn't working, you can blame it on the shuffle.
- Tom Wylie is easier to understand than Doctor Ruth.
- When you pay for Magic, you're guaranteed of a good time.
- You can always get your partner to play Magic with you in public.
- You can shuffle your deck as much as you want.
- Your partner can shuffle your deck, too.
- When you buy Magic, you know it's fresh from the factory.
- When you get tired of a deck, you can make a better one.
- Your neighbors won't mind if you watch them play Magic.
- It’s okay to play Magic with your sister.
- You don't *need* a battery-powered shuffler, but it's easier than using your hands.
- You don't have to tell your current partner about everyone you've ever played with.